A Word From the Boss

I received my job performance evaluation last week.

Phew! What a relief. Because that evaluation could have gone much differently. Let's be honest, I don't frequently hear those glowing reviews from my dependents. They are very quick to tell me when the food I make is gross. They don't hesitate to talk back when I ask them to do something.  They certainly let me know when they have better ideas than me. But they don't often chime in with, "I love you mommy ... you're the best mom ever."

When I was a working woman, before I became a stay-at-home-and-work-my-tail-off-woman, I received job performance evaluations all the time. Every job I've had came with an evaluation of some sort. My college job, my teaching jobs, my managerial jobs. I received regular feedback on my job performance every step of the way. And then I became a mom - the single most important job I've ever had - and the performance evaluations stopped.

 

 

Some days, I'm just fine with figuring this gig out on my own. But lots of days, I just want a little feedback. Something. Anything, really. And not from the little people who benefit (or not) from my tactics. But from one slightly more mature who sees, day in and day out, just how I handle this bunch of Barron's. And on those days, which are usually filled with a fair amount of self-doubt, I have to remind myself that I am not alone. That there is one who see my actions, knows my heart and hears my thoughts. And not only is He watching me. He is most certainly in my corner, lovingly cheering me on as I tackle my highest calling.

 

So when Henry secretly records a video to tell me, "You're the best mom ever" I not only hear his sweet words. I also choose to hear the voice of God encouraging me along the way.

 

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,  since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Colossians 3:23-24

A

Everyone Needs A Happy Place

Running errands with four kids ages 6, 4, 2 and 6 weeks is really fun! My favorite part is when we've just finished a big haul at the grocery store and they're in their seats, all buckled in, the car is in drive, I can finally relax and I hear from the backseat, "I really, really, really have to go to the bathroom." Crud. Well, it is the six year old. He's been potty trained for over 3 years now so he wipes well, flushes semi regularly and almost always remembers to wash his hands. Perhaps today is the day he gains a notch on his belt of independence and goes into a public restroom alone. And I mean really alone. Like mom waiting in the car alone. Because goodness knows I do not want to unload all these kids just so we can all wait 30 seconds for Henry to pee.

The gas station around the corner should work. There are usually only a few oddities sitting out front. On second thought. Never mind.

Target? It's close. But no. Mommy guilt requires that I at least run him from the parking lot to the front door and those 60 seconds of leaving the rest of the kids alone in the car are enough to get me reported these days.

And then I remember something. Their dad is getting his car washed less than a mile away! I can park in the lot next to Scrubbs car wash and Matt can run out to my car and take Henry to the bathroom. Hallelujah! This is seriously almost as good as winning the lottery.

Just a quick phone call to let Matt know we're on our way ...
No answer.
He's on call today. Maybe he's talking to someone from work. I'll just try again.
No answer and straight to voicemail.
What the flip?! We have a bathroom emergency here! No time to worry if I might appear nuts by calling him every 30 seconds. I have to try again.
AHHHHHH! No answer.
 I'll text. Sometimes he responds better to a text.
"UM ... HELLO???"
No reply.
For crying out loud. I can't call again. That would just be crazy! We'll have to drive there and I'll bite the there's-a-good-chance-an-overreaching-parent-will-call-the-authorities-bullet and run Henry in while the other kids sit in the car.

By this time Henry has got to go. The "I really, really, really have to go and can't wait any longer and need a bathroom now mom" kind of go. And I'm sweating. The kind of condensation that forms on your brow not from physical exertion, but from the pressure you're under because at any moment your child could lose all control of his bladder and pee all over his big kid booster seat which unlike the infant seat no longer has a pain in the ass convenient, removable cover you can wash so you'll have to add a trip to Wal-Mart for a new booster seat to today's to-do list. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Just when I think he's going to lose it, I see our safe haven. Or rather the big yellow "Scrubbs" sign. And I also see Matt's truck in line to be washed. So I know he's there. I pull my boat of a vehicle into a tiny spot, throw it into park, open the door for Henry, tell the others I'll be back in 30 seconds and not to scream or cry or laugh or breathe or do anything to draw attention to themselves, and I run Henry in to find Matt. Surely by now he's seen I've called 3 times and sent a text. He'll know we're in some sort of a bind. Maybe his daddy mind is even reading my mommy mind (we can do that sometimes) and he'll be at the door waiting for his bride and his firstborn. As I open the door and Henry runs toward the bathroom, I spot Matt. And a wave of confusion and envy wash over me. He is sitting in a massage chair (you know those huge, leather "Pay $5 for 5 minutes" massage chairs), TV remote in hand flipping channels, with the most serene, contented look on his face. He is clearly enjoying a moment of pure peace and total oblivion. And I 'm frozen in time for a moment. All while  Henry is sprinting to the bathroom, the other kids are probably talking to the nice lady in the parking lot who is calling the police on her cell phone, sweat is running down my brow, and Matt is in his happy place; the massage chair at Scrubbs Car Wash. I snap out of my trance and walk toward him and my dear, sweet husband finally spots us.

"Oh hi guys."

"I've called you 3 times and sent a text! Henry has to go to the bathroom. The other kids are in the car waiting for me. Bring Henry back when he's done."

"Oh. Okay. Man, my work might be trying to get ahold of me too. I better find my phone." And he calmly reaches into his backpack on the floor.

And I just stare. I don't reply. I don't blink. I might not be breathing. I just turn around and walk out the door because the police are on their way for our other kids. And then, I laugh. From deep in my gut I laugh. Because no single experience so clearly exemplifies our vastly different personalities and parenting styles. Here I am, about to have a heart attack over an everyday occurrence - one of our kids needing to tinkle. And Matt's as cool as a cucumber, unfazed and in his happy place. Which unknown to me is a massage chair at the car wash.

Are You Smarter Than A Kindergartener?

Tonight at dinner Henry told us that "a google is a 1 with 100 zeros behind it."

Matt and I quickly corrected him.

Me: "No Henry. Google is a website. Like pbskids.org"
Henry: "No, it's a number."
Matt: "I don't think so Henry."
Henry: "Yes it is!!!! My teacher told me. It's a 1 with 100 zeros behind it!!!!"
Me: "Henry. I don't think it's a number."
Henry: "It is. It really is!!!!!!!!!"

I had to excuse myself so I could Google, "the number 1 followed by 100 zeros"
Gulp. Um. It's a googol! We had no idea.


Me: "Um. He's right. A googol is a one followed by 100 zeros."
Matt: (stunned)
Adam: (laughing)
Claire: (eating)
Henry: "Seeeeeeeeee."

Can you say humble pie?!?

So well done, Mrs. D. Well done.

Now our son will always think he's right.

Regardless, you have our blessing to keep

 imparting these fun facts into his eager little brain.

 

Little Snipits

(Forgot to post this conversation I had with the boys a few week ago)

 

 

 

A Bud Light truck passed us as we were leaving the neighborhood.

 

HENRY: "Hey! There goes dada's favorite beer truck! It said Butter Butt Beer right?"

ME: "No. It said, Bud Light."

HENRY: "Oh. Well he likes that kind too."

ADAM: (after a slight pause) "Wait a minute. How did dat truck know how to get to our house?!?!"

 

 

Everything I Need to Know ...

 

 

Well the big day came and went. Henry started Kindergarten today. He is going to Chico Christian School and I'm pretty sure his teacher, Mrs. D, will be amazing. He is more than ready for this transition. He was bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready to get going this morning but I made him cuddle with me on the couch for a few minutes before the rush of the morning took over.

 

 

He enjoyed posing for his first day of Kindergarten pictures.

 



I can't say the same for Adam and Claire.

 



 

We enjoyed our ride to school.

 

 

Henry LOVED being able to play on the big kid playground.

 

 

I nearly lost it seeing his itty-bitty body and big ol' backpack walk down the hall to his classroom.

 

And of course there was a place waiting for him when he got inside.

 

 

And since Henry is in school Adam officially started "Momma School" today. We kicked it off by going to the library and getting Adam his own library card. We enjoyed a snack at the library. I do believe I held Adam and Claire a bit tighter than usual today.

 







And at 11:45 sharp we were finally reunited. And it felt so good!

 

 

 

Oh. And Tyson had fun today too.

 

 

I will always remember this day. I will remember it for a few reasons.  Of course I will remember Henry starting school. And I will remember driving to pick him up and wanting to kill Tyson because I smelled like wet dog and was covered in mud. And I will remember today because Claire had an epic blowout during her afternoon nap and decided to smear poop all over her crib and hair and hands and feet and face and mouth. But what I will remember most about today is the moment when I clearly heard God speaking to me.  

 

If I'm being honest there have been many little things about Henry's room placement that have been causing me to feel heavy hearted. He got the kindergarten classroom that is furthest from the parking lot which means I will have to unload (just to load again) the kids and trek to the far end of the campus when I pick Henry up everyday. He didn't get placed with any of his preschool buddies which means I will rarely see the mom friends I was getting to know last year. He got placed in the class with peanut and almond allergy kids which means I will have to think really hard about what to feed my son who only eats PB&J. I've been wallowing in all these (petty) thoughts for awhile. And it's been ugly. And today I clearly heard God tell me, "Stop. This is not about you. It's about Henry. And I have him in the palm of my hand and have placed him with the perfect teacher to help him know and love me more."

 

So at the end of a very hard day, I am thankful that God knows the plans he has for my child. I am thankful that He plans to grow and prosper Henry. I am thankful that 6 years ago God, the creator of the world, carefully knit Henry together in my womb. I am thankful that this very day He knows even the number of hairs on his precious little head. And I am thankful that God will never leave Henry and in fact goodness and mercy will follow Henry all the days of his life. And that is all I need to know. Yesterday. Today. And forever.





Goals Revised

Henry starts Kindergarten in a couple weeks and according to almost everyone this makes me one step closer to freedom. My first child is starting school, all day kindergarten none the less. A couple years ago I thought having the first of my three in school would put me closer to the goal tired moms everywhere work toward: get all your kids in school. I am discovering that for me and my family I couldn't have been more wrong.

Now don't misundertand. I need time away from my kids. Quite honestly I am exhausted by  them. It's mind numbing work to wipe bottoms, break up fights, listen to whining, buckle and unbuckle car seats, make PB&J's just to turn around and serve another snack an hour later, whip out crafts, break up more fights, wipe noses, and be touched CONSTANTLY by nasty little hands that gross even me - their mother - out! But as I approach the sought after milestone of "finally" having a school age child I am discovering something I missed until recently. The goal of early childhood is NOT to work toward the day you can drop your child off at school. The goal of early childhood is to take full advantage of the time you have them under your wing, making sure to invest diligently, lovingly and wholeheartedly into the lives that have been entrusted into your care. These early years are formative and as Mom I have been given the privilege and responsibility to train my children in the way they should go.

My hearts desire is to see my children equipped with the spiritual foundation, confidence and character to handle all that life throws at them. I believe that these life long skills take shape in the first 5 years of life. And I hope that after they slay the dragons that await them in kindergarten and beyond my children will never be too old to come home for cookies and milk. I will however, gladly leave them to handle their own bottom wiping.

Tahoe - Week 2

Week number 2 and we're fully enjoying

 the altered state of reality that is life in Tahoe.

Loving the sand!

Our entertainment during dinner prep.

They are so entertaining ...

... Adam couldn't even handle it.

Getting ready for a hike at Spooner Lake.

Grumpy dude. But give him 5 minutes and he'll be
the happiest kid on the hike.

Adam has an eagle eye for bugs and "treasures."

He looks ready for a 4th to me.

Skinny jeans and pink leather sandals. Appropriate
hiking attire when you're the only little girl.

Successful fishing with the boys.

And we ate it for dinner.

My husband the grill master.

Man life is tough in Tahoe.

It's 5:00 somewhere. Okay. Maybe it's just 2:30. But we're on vacation!

Tahoe - Week 1

The Barron's have a tradition. A 25 year old tradition in fact. Every year during the first week (and recently 2) of July they bring their brood to Tahoe. I love, LOVE the fact that I married into this tradition. We missed 8 years of the good times when we were living in Milwaukee but now that we're back in California we have embraced the annual trip with vigor.

This is the 3rd year we've been able to bring our bunch of Barron's on the trip. The food, family, fun, cards, laughter, friends, day trips, walks, and the beach are exactly what we need. We're loving every minute.

Corn in our teeth.

Sand in our toes.

Aunties by our side.

Walks to the beach at sunset.

Cards, cards and more cards.

Cooking.

Scavenger Hunt. One of MANY!

More cooking.

Virginia City, Nevada

Panning for gold.

They actually got some flakes!

Cave tour. Scared the crud out of me.

Love this face!

Fun, fun and more fun! We are missing Tyson a bit though. Fortunately we found the best dog trainers in the world and they paid him a visit at the kennel yesterday. They said he's doing great and doesn't seem to be missing us too much. They even sent us some pictures of him. How thoughtful is that?!