Thursday, June 23, 2011

Hiking With Hemorrhoids

When Claire was about a week old we went on a family hike through Upper Bidwell Park. It was really more of a stroll but Henry thought we were "hiking through the woods."

About 5 minutes into our hike I realized that Claire's birth had left me with a raging case of hemorrhoids. I wanted to stop right there and throw a royal pity party but instead I put on my happiest face and continued the trek. Because let's be honest, I knew I wasn't going to get much sympathy from my husband, my 2 and 4 year old boys and my week old baby. Somewhere along that wooded path I had a pain packed Ah-Ha moment as the title of what I hope will one day be a book came to me: Hiking With Hemorrhoids. The premise? An honest, humorous and endearing look at the unexpected things you learn as you journey through motherhood. So here it is. The beginning of my book - in bullet format.

  • A bad hair day can ruin a 4 year old boys morning.
  • It does not come naturally for me to be "slow to anger and abounding in love" with my children.
  • Coffee and goldfish crackers are now staples in my diet.
  • My boobs are capable of swelling to a shocking size. And sadly shrinking to an even more shocking size.
  • I can survive on just a few hours of sleep for months at a time.
  • I hate glitter and play dough and syrup (always have). But I let my kids enjoy ALL 3 of these things because it makes them smile.
  • I love the smell of morning breath on my boys and sour milk in my baby girls neck rolls.
  • It is easier to be friends with people who parent the same way I do.
  • Baby number 1 was so much more difficult than baby number 3. Even though looking back baby number 1 was really an easier baby.
  • I fall more in love with my husband every time he folds a load of laundry or vacuums the floor.
  • My sense of hearing has evolved so that I can detect a child who is out of their bed at 2:00 am the second their feet hit the floor.
  • I can wipe a poopy bottom, nurse a baby and talk on the phone at the same time.
  • Few things are more dangerous to a tranquil home than the unspoken expectations I have of my husband and my children.
Motherhood is changing me into the woman I never knew I would love to be. If you feel like sharing I would love to hear some of the things you are learning as you journey through motherhood.


  1. Really? You hate play dough? I LOVE play dough! The scent, the texture, the pliability...really everything about it. I don't even mind sweeping it up off the floor after it's gotten all hard. AND I love glitter too...especially glitter glue! (This may sound sarcastic, but I'm totally serious!)

    Can't wait to read your book!


  2. Enjoyed your post!
    The thing I've learned that amazes me the most is that the kids you can't wait to get to bed in the evening are the same ones you can't wait for to wake up in the morning.